Happy 19th birthday to me! I'm in my last teen year--very strange to think about. There's four very important birthdays in a young woman's life:
1. 13--the year everything begins to change
2. 16--the year everything becomes better
3. 18--the year everything becomes real
4. 21--the year of infinite moments.
But everyone seems to forget about 19--the in between year. This year does not mark me as a voter or a legal cigarette buyer (not that I want to buy cigarettes, it's just legal now). I cannot buy alcohol yet or rent a car. I'm just nineteen. And I feel like this is supposed to mean something, but as of right now, it really doesn't. Today was just a day of celebration, a day that reminded how amazing my friends and family are. I am so very blessed to have so many people who care about me, or at least acknowledge me. And that's all that matters at this point in my life.
Normally, I would be writing this entry in my journal--the next year in the line of successive years that are to come. However, my slightly unforgiving wrist issues are impeding me from writing vast amounts. Yes, these two measly paragraphs constitute as vast for my wrist.
However, here I am sharing my birthday thoughts with the internet. It's not like I have extremely deep thoughts. In fact, my thoughts are very commonplace. I am surrounded by friends and family who astound me with the thoughts that pop into their minds on a daily basis. I wish my mind would think like that--be funny, or witty, or just inventive all the time. But then again, that sounds very exhausting.
I understand that these paragraphs seem very choppy and disconnected. They are. I could go back in and edit them, but then I would not succeed in being honest to my train of thought. My own thoughts are exhausting enough, I don't need to be funny, witty or inventive all the time. I have my own mind to deal with.
Anyway, back to birthday thoughts, since that is what this entry is about, correct? I haven't lost you have I? It's okay if I have. I lose myself occasionally.
So this weekend--the 19th birthday weekend--is the kickoff of my five weekends of thrill. I can't tell you what the next four weekends have in store. You're just going to have to find out for yourself. A grueling practice, I'm sure. I've loved this weekend so far--I've spent time with my family, had some pretty excellent food, seen my older "sister" (you know who you are), gotten to lounge with my dogs, and this is just the first day. Tomorrow--more family, friends, and PAINTING! I may or may not post pictures depending on how horribly my picture turns out to be. Sunday I'll be back on the road to Chatt for a joint-birthday celebration! The weekend is just starting, but it's going to be great.
I always expect the world for my birthday, which I know is a detrimental practice. But I love birthdays, and I always have this silly notion that something magical is going to happen, though it rarely does. Normally, when I build my sights so high, I'm torn to shreds when my fantasy doesn't become reality. But for my birthdays, I've learned that my fantasies can stay fantasies. Reality proves just as great (for the most part).
I don't really have anything else wise to say--I'm not even sure that I've said a wise word in my entire life. Maybe nineteen will prove this to be a new experience. Who knows? Skies the limit, right?